Why Email Is Like A Penis

It can be up or down. Its more fun when its up, but it makes it hard to
get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think
thats the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for
fun most of the time.

Once youve started playing with it, its hard to stop. Some people would
just play with it all day if they didnt have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes its hard
to tell what kind of person youre dealing with until its too late.

If you dont apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much,
youll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and
influence warrant.

Some folks have it, some dont. Those who have it would be devastated if it
were ever cut off. They think that those who dont have it are somehow
inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who dont
have it may agree that its a nifty toy, but think its not worth the fuss
that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who dont have
it would like to try it.

If youre not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will
warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, Why on earth did I do

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do
the same damn dumb things it did before.

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