02
Jul

World Ideologies Explained With Cows

Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone elses cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government
gives you a glass of milk.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the
chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives
you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about
who has the most ability and who has the most need. Meanwhile, no one
works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes
all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the
black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all
the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the free
market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the
milk.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them
and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes
both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then
it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Capitalism
You dont have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows,
because you dont have any cows to put up as collateral.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Anarcho-Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.

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