Are you a Redneck? This is by Comedian Jeff Foxworthy, excerpted from
his book You Might Be a Redneck if… Published by Longstreet Press
Marietta, Ga.

You might be a Redneck if…

Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help take the
wheels off of it.
Your wifes hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.
You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment.
Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
Directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem them.
Your family tree does not fork.