Old and New Jokes

1) Light a candle on your roomies, friends, or relatives forehead while they are sleeping. See how long it takes for them to wake up. This will tell you how long you will live. 2) Tell your future by interpreting the patterns in popcorn, beer cans and cigarette butts left on the floor after your last party. Its a lot like reading tea leaves. 3) Choose an outfit for the day using a divining rod. 4) Determine what your friends have done during the day by smelling their odor eaters. 5) Go outside skyclad (naked), come in and interpret the patterns in your goose bumps. Its a lot like reading tea leaves. 6) Tape music videos, play them backwards on your VCR and try to find subliminal images and rock stars that take on Satanic appearances. 7) Interpret forms in your sculptured carpet. Its a lot like reading tea leaves. 8) At breakfast, eat all but a few bits of cereal, then stir it vigorously and interpret the resulting designs. Its a lot like reading tea leaves. 9) Develop a tarot style deck using subscription card inserts from magazines. 10) In a restaurant, lay on the floor under a table and interpret the designs and patterns in the gum wads. ITS A LOT LIKE READING TEA LEAVES!