15 Signs that its Time to get a New Car

15. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of
Historic Places.

14. Instead of an airbag, theres a whoopie cushion
taped to your steering wheel.

13. Stench from bodies in trunk becoming unbearable.

12. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old
on a moped.

11. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car 3 days.

10. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to
take The Club.

9. When you gas up, the attendant asks Can I re-duct-
tape that windshield for you?

8. While waiting at a stop light, people run up asking
if anyone was hurt.

7. You never seem to get an answer at the AMC Gremlin
help desk.

6. For the last five years, youve had to settle for
making vroom vroom noises while sitting in the

5. Keep losing dates on left turns.

4. Your gas gauge measures in cubits.

3. Traffic reporters starting to refer to you by name
when discussing morning tie-ups.

2. Hasnt been the same since Hugh Grant borrowed it.

1. Your tires are balding faster than Michael Bolton.

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