1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt on.

3. Arent you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

6. Bad cop! No donut!

7. Youre gonna check the trunk, arent you?

8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.

9. I pay your salary.

10. Thats terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

11. Is that a 9mm? Its nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? Youre a trained specialist?

13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

14. That gut doesnt inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.

15. Didnt I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

16. Is it true people become cops because theyre too dumb to work at McDonalds?

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around–Thats how far they are ahead of me.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.