The Rules (by Her)

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesnt abide by THE RULES, it is because he cant take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasnt paying attention in class. She called on him and said, Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?

Little Johnny quickly replied, NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!

There are two solutions to the problem in Eastern Europe, the practical solution and the miraculous solution.

The practical solution is that the Virgin Mary and the Archangels Gabriel and Michael would come down and set things straight. That is the practical solution.

The miraculous solution is the Eastern Europeans would learn to compromise.

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

Boss, he says, were doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.



Were short-handed, Smith the boss replies. I cant give you the day off.



Thanks, boss, says Smith I knew I could count on you!

There is currently an article in alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bestiality with the subject Girl caught masturbating chimp, by SpyCam in ZOO

I guess spanking the monkey can be taken literally in this case. 🙂

An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor one day, and he was fitted with an exceptional hearing aid.The old geezer returned a month later for a checkup, and the doctor remarked, Your hearing is perfect! Your family must really be pleased that you can hear again.The old geezer replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations… and in that time Ive changed my will three times!

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,

Im going to try to swim to shore. So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.



The second one, the redhead, said to herself, I wonder if she made it. I guess its better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve. So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.



So the blonde thought to herself, I wonder if they made it! I think Id better try to make it, too. So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore

was just in sight, but she said, Im too tired to go on! So she swam back.

October 14, 1947 – Pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X One rocket plane and became the first person to break the sound barrier.

BREAKING THE SOUND BARIER?

The New York Times reports that Nathan P. Myhrvold, Microsofts chief technology officer, working with a paleontologist, has developed a computer model that provides evidence that some dinosaurs may have been able to use their tails like bull whips, creating a cannon-like sonic boom by exceeding the speed of sound with the last few inches of the tail. Thus, dinosaurs, and not Chuck Yeager, may have been the first life forms on the planet to break the sound barrier.

It struck me as somehow appropriate that Microsofts CTO would concern himself with how to make a dinosaur go so fast.

Sandy (AKA Ms Sam)

Chuckles Of Choice Web Site

http://www.chucklesofchoice.com/

La maestra les dejó de tarea a sus alumnos investigar qué animal es el más venenoso o ponzoñoso.

Al día siguiente, la profesora le pregunta a Juanita acerca de la tarea y ella le contesta que es la abeja, porque picaba y dejaba hinchado y con mucho dolor. Después le pregunta a Pedro y él le responde que es la víbora, porque su piquete es mortal. Hasta el final, le pregunta a Pepito.

El burro es el animal más ponzoñoso, responde Pepito.

¡Cómo te atreves a decir que es el burro, Pepito!

Sí, maestra, a ver, aguántele un piquetito.

A man sees a blonde woman at the beach one day sporting a walkman and headphones, but thinks nothing of it.



The next day, he sees the same blonde woman at the grocery store, still with the walkman and headphones on. A little suprised, he goes on with his shopping.



The next day was Sunday, and the man headed off to church. The man arrived at the church and found a seat just as the preacher was beginning the sermon. Halfway through the sermon, the man looked over, and to his surprise, saw the same blonde woman. Even more shocking, she was STILL wearing the headphones! The man was so curious as to why she was wearing the headphones, he jumped up, ran over to the woman, and ripped the headphones off her head. She

immediately fell to the ground, clutching her throat. The man, horrified, picked up the headphones to see what was playing in them. To his amasement, the same thing was playing over and over again:



Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…