The Office of Institutional Computing has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Year 2000 issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999.



Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: Y2K problems No technical glitches, keeping work from being done. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. Substantial hardware cost savings.



Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:



My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. What do I do?

Pick it up and shake it



How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?

Pick it up and shake it



Whats the short cut for Undo?

Pick it up and shake it



How do I create a New Document window?

Pick it up and shake it



How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?

Pick it up and shake it



What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?

Pick it up and shake it



How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?

Pick it up and shake it



How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?

Dont shake it.

A blonde,brunette and a redhead all step up to a mysterious magig mirror. A sign beside it says: If you lie while looking in this mirror you will dissapear. The brunette appraches the mirror and says: I think im the smartest girl in the world and she dissapeared. The redhead approaches the mirror and says: I think Im the hottest girl in the world. and she dissapeared. Then the blonde appraches the mirror and says: I think, and she dissapeared

Q:why did the burger queen get pregnant?



A:the burger king forgot to wrap his whopper.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Frank!
Frank who?
Franks and beans!

Q: How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another?
A: Check the p-value.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

I want to become a politician when I grow up so Ive made a list of skills I want to aquire, but

Ive only come up with one: Lying.

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didnt have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter A for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.
The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. Is everything okay? Sure, I said, why? Well, heres your test, he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. Can you explain why you chose an A for everything? Knowing that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, Well, Ive always wanted to be an A student.

What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?

Wear perfume that smells like beer.

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."So they went home.

Sag, Youre it.
Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
20 questions shouted into your good ear.
Kick the bucket.
Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
Doc Goose.
Simon says something incoherent.
Hide and go pee.
Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
Musical recliners.