A cucumber wont tell you that size doesnt matter.
A cucumber wont need to be sucked off.
A cucumber wont care what time of the month it is.
A cucumber wont lie to you about having a vasectomy.
A cucumber wont want to come on your face.
A cucumber wont fall asleep too soon.
A cucumber wont fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
A cucumber wont make you sleep on the wet spot.
You wont find out that a cucumber is: married, on penicillin, or trying to screw your sister.
A cucumber wont grab cash from your purse while youre asleep.
A cucumber wont come home late, stinking of beer.
A cucumber wont run off with a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
All cucumbers are fresh and juicy.
You can keep as many cucumbers as you want.
Your mother wont flip out finding a cucumber in your house.
Cucumbers dont jam the freezer with food you dont like.
Cucumbers dont stay up until 4 and then demand that you take care of them when they get sick.
But on the other hand, cucumbers stay up ALL THE TIME.
Cucumbers dont mind if you enjoy them and a movie at the same time.
Nobody calls you a bigot for having a favorite kind of cucumber.
The cucumbers you raise dont desert you.