1. Constipated People Dont Give A Crap.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3 If You Drink Dont Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Dont Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A
Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Dont Succeed…blame Someone Else And
Seek
Counseling.
12. Impotence: Natures Way Of Saying No Hard Feelings.
13. If You Can Read This, Ive Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken… Watch For Finger.
15. Its Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The
Booger.
16. If Youre Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
17. Youre Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
18. The Earth Is Full – Go Home
19. I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Werent Happening To Me
21. So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time
22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
24. The Face Is Familiar But I Cant Quite Remember My Name
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
28. Cover Me Im Changing Lanes
29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next
Exit
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
34. Its Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
35. I Havent Lost My Mind, Its Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off… [Seen On The
Back Of A Bikers Vest]
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over… [Seen
Upside Down, On A Jeep]
40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed
For 70mph.
41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported
To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman
Look Like Jabba The Hut?
43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A
Cold One.
44. Ax Me About Ebonics
45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
48. Caution – Driver Legally Blonde!
49. Dont Be Sexist – Broads Hate That
50. Heart Attacks… Gods Revenge For Eating His Animal
Friends
51. Honk If Youve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He
Is Lost?
53. If You Cant Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With
Bullets.
54. Money Isnt Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In
Touch
55. Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!
56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
58. Peta – People Eating Tasty Animals