Daddy, why doesnt this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
I.R.S.: Weve got what it takes to take what youve got!
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies.
Im as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
The secret of the universe is @*^^^&# NO CARRIER
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Im not a complete idiot…some parts are missing!
Always remember youre unique, just like everybody else.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
Theres too much blood in my alcoholic system.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
I wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Learn from your parents mistakes…use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I wont rise to the occasion, but Ill slide over to it.
Double your drive space…delete Windows!
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between drunkness.
I use to have a handle on life; then it broke.
I dont suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
When theres a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth; how about a Fountain of Smart?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Intel: We put the um… in Pentium.
C:windows
C:windows
un
C:windowscrash