Short bitter-half jokes
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My wife and I, we always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days! And then the mud fell off
My wife told me her car wasnt working well – there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.
I asked my wife: Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
She said: Somewhere I have never been!
I told her: How about the kitchen?
My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling: Am I too late for the garbage?
No. Jump In!
My wife is on a new diet – coconuts and bananas. She hasnt lost weight, but she can now climb a tree!
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