YES, IM A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am George Carlin, a BAD American.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican.

Im in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesnt make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you should do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesnt give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you havent begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I dont hate the rich. I dont pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I dont waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when Im freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

Ive never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didnt wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I havent burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, Shut The Hell Up Already.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if youre running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if youre breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I dont want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing i