Knowledge without insight is like a horse in the library.

If Teddy Roosevelt were alive today, he probably would have said, Walk softly and carry an Uzi. Sadly, well never know. –Lev L. Spiro

Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better. –Richard Hooker

A great way for to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much. –Frank Varano

Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.

Brookes Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Some people reach the top of the ladder of success only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall.

Flons Law: There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Its easy to identify people who cant count to ten. Theyre in front of you in the supermarket express lane. –June Henderson

Preudhommes Law of Window Cleaning: Its on the other side.

Be careful of your thoughts: They may become words at any moment.

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. –Mark Twain

If youre not part of the solution, youre part of the precipitate.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. –Josh Billings

Love is sentimental measles.

Put your Nose to the Grindstone! –Amalgamated Plastic Surgeons and Toolmakers, Ltd.

New Years Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and his wife most often reminds him to act it. –Websters Unafraid Dictionary

We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile. –Grace Williams

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. –Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

The more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one of us is right.

In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable. –Winston Curchill, of Montgomery

May your Tongue stick to the Roof of your Mouth with the Force of a Thousand Caramels.

Heaven goes by favor, if it went by merit, you would stay out, and your dog would go in. –Mark Twain

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldnt have said.

We really dont have any enemies. Its just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us.

If youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. –Henny Youngman