GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED



No matter how hard you try, you cant baptize cats.

When your mom is mad at your dad, dont let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, dont hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

You cant trust dogs to watch your food.

Dont sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

School lunches stick to the wall.

You cant hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Dont wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandmas lap.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED



Raising teenagers is like nailing JELLO to a tree.

There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles dont hurt.

One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere… and let the air

out of their tires.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Todays mighty oak is just yesterdays nut that held its ground.

Laughing helps.

Its like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

If you can remain calm, you just dont have all the facts.

You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while youre down there.