How To Tell That Its Going To Be A Bad Day
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- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
- You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
- You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You want to put the clothes on you wore home from the party
but find there arent any. - Your twin brother forgot your birthday.
- You turn on the news and theyre showing emergency routes
from the city. - Your car horn accidentally goes off and remains stuck as
you follow a group of Hells Angels along a deserted highway. - You wake to discover your waterbed has sprung a leak and
then realize you dont have a waterbed. - Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- You call your answering service and youre told to mind
your own business. - Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
- Your tax refund check bounces.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- Your wife says Good Morning, Bill and your name is
George.
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