*You havent asked yet.
*I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
*What? And spoil my great sex life?
*Nobody would believe me in white.
*Because I just love hearing this question.
*Just lucky, I guess.
*It gives my mother something to live for.
*My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
*Im still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
*Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
*Im waiting until I get to be your age.
*It didnt seem worth a blood test.
*I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
*Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
*My co-op board doesnt allow spouses.
*Id have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
*They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
*I wouldnt want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
*I guess it just goes to prove that you cant trust those voodoo doll rituals.
*What? And lose all the money Ive invested in running personal ads?
*We really want to, but my lovers spouse just wont go for it.
*I dont want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
*Why arent you thin?
*Im married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

Bonus reply for Single Mothers: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

And, if all else fails: Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, Youre next. They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.