If restaurants functioned like shrink-wrapped (Microsoft) software:

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and Ill be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: Theres a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly wont be there this time.

Patron: No, its still there.

Waiter: Maybe its the way youre using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe its a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. Im running late now.

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasnt ready yet.

Patron: Well, Im so hungry now, Ill eat anything.

[waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! Theres a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . ……….. . . . . . . . . . $5.00

Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50

Access to support . . . . . . . . . . ……….$1.00