Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then
bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.

If its really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes
to inquire how its going. That greatly aids my efficiency.

Always leave without telling anyone where youre going. It gives me a
chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, dont open
the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and
opening doors is good training.

If you give me more than one job to do, dont tell me which is the
priority. Let me guess.

Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have
nowhere to go or anything to do.

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could
cost me a promotion.
If you dont like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular
in conversation.

If you have special instructions for a job, dont write them down. If
fact, save them until the job is
almost done.

Never introduce me to the people youre with. When you refer to them
later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

Be nice to me only when the job Im doing for you could really change
your life.

Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and its nice
to know someone is less fortunate.

Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my
goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
with a cost of living increase. Im not here for the money
anyway.