PATIENT: Im in a hospital!? Whey am I in here?

DOCTOR: Youve had an accident involving a train.

PATIENT: What happened?

DOCTOR: Well, Ive got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

PATIENT: Well the bad news first.

DOCTOR: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

PATIENT: Thats terrible! Whats the good news?

DOCTOR: Theres a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your shoes.