Old and New Jokes

Osama bin Laden finally gets his due when a one-ton tomahawk



missile lands



on his tent one day. He immediately goes to



hell, where the devil is waiting



for him.



I dont know what to do here, says the devil. You are on



my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to



stay here,



so Ill tell you what Im going to do: Ive got a



couple of people here



who werent quite as bad as you. Ill



let one of them go, but you have



to take their place. Ill



even let YOU decide who leaves.



Osama bin



Laden thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil



opened the first room.



In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept



diving in and



surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over.



Such was his fate in hell.



No, said Osama bin Laden, I dont think so. Im not a good



swimmer and



I dont think I could do that all day long.



The devil led him to the



next room. In it was the Ayatollah



Khomeini with a sledge-hammer and a



room full of rocks. All



he did was swing that hammer, time after time after



time.



No, Ive got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in



constant



agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,



commented Osama bin Laden.



The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama bin Laden saw Bill



Clinton,



lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head,



and his legs staked



in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was



Monica Lewinsky, doing what she



does best. Osama bin Laden



looked in disbelief and finally said, Yeah,



I can handle



this.



The devil smiled and said, OK, Monica, youre free



to go.