Old and New Jokes

A man bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down and the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.



As the needle jumped to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.





Theres no way they can catch a BMW, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 . . . then the reality of the situation hit him. What the heck am I doing? he thought, and



pulled over.





The officer came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. Its been a long day, this is the end of my shift and its Friday the 13th. I dont feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before, you can go.





The guy thinks for a second and says, Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.





Have a nice weekend, said the officer.