Old and New Jokes

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders

2. Instead of an hourglass icon youd get an empty beer bottle

3. Occasionally youd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa

5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos

6. The Recycle Bin in Winders95 would be an outhouse

7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player youd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird!

8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart

9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt

10. Microsofts programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++

11. Winders95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word

13. Instead of latte carts wed have grits carts

14. New Shutdown wav: Yall come back now, Yah hear?

15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called Cuz

16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans-Am

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse

18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bills a billionaire

20. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates

23. Instead of asking where do you want to go today? its more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back?

24. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad