Sandy McTavishs kilt

Sandy McTavish was walking the Macys basement sale when, before his
eyes on the sale table, was a bolt of the McTavish tartan! Hed been
in New York for about six years and his kilt showed it, so the need
was there, the price was right and he approached the sales clerk (youll
have to supply your own Scottish burr).

Lassie, Eyd like a yayrd an a haf o the McTavish tartin

Beg your pardon sir?

Yaryrd an a haf o the McTavish tartin, Im needin a new kilt

Im sorry sir, youll have to show me the material you mean

So he walked her over to the sale table and showed her what he wanted.

Sorry sir, that plaid only comes in three yard lengths

Ya dunna understand lassie, I dunna need three yayrds, I need a yayrd an a haf

Im sorry sir, you dont understand, that plaid comes in three yard lengths,
why not take a yard and a half, make your kilt, and take the other yard and a
half and make a scarf for your girl friend?

It was clear that Sandy needed a new kilt and that he was going to have to buy
three yards if he was going to get the McTavish tartan…

All ryut, Ill buy the thrree yayrds!

He did and went home, made a new kilt and a scarf for his girl friend. He
was so pleased with his new kilt that he decided hed go over and show it to
her and let the scarf be a surprise. As he was running over to her house he
forgot that the pattern hed used was over six years old and hed lost some
forty pounds in the mean time (two stone?). As a result, the new kilt slipped
down off his waist, over his hips and was gone. He got to her door and knocked.

She saw him in the window and opened the door and as she did, he threw open
his coat and said:

Well! How dee ya lyke et?

She looked and thought a moment and replied, I guess I like it just fine.

Aye Lass, and theres another one nahalf yards yell be gettin for Christmas!

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