Old and New Jokes

Clinton died and was standing at the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared.

Who goes there? inquired St. Peter.



Its me, Bill Clinton.



And what do you want? asked St. Peter.



Lemme in! replied Clinton.



Soooo, pondered Peter. What bad things did you do on earth?



Clinton thought a bit and answered, Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldnt hold that against me because I didnt inhale. I guess I had extra-marital sex — but you shouldnt hold that against me because I didnt really have sexual relations. And I lied, but I didnt commit perjury.



After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, OK, heres the deal. Well send you someplace where it is very hot, but we wont call it Hell. Youll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we wont call it eternity. And dont abandon all hope upon entering, just dont hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.