Old and New Jokes

Things you dont want to hear during surgery:



1. Better save that. Well need it for the autopsy.

2. Someone call the janitor – were going to need a mop

3. Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness

4. Spot! Spot! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then whats that?

6. Hand me that… uh… that uh… thingie.

7. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

8. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

9. Damn, there go the lights again…

10. Ya know, theres big money in kidneys. Hell, the guys got two of em.

11. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

12. Could you stop that thing from beating; its throwing my concentration off.

13. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

14. I hope his family wont miss him

15. And now we remove the subjects brain and place it in the body of the ape.

16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

17. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

18. Dont worry. I think it is sharp enough.

19. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!.