Every hormone hostage knows that there are days in the
month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he
takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that
should be as common as a drivers license in the wallet of
every husband, boyfriend, or male child.

DANGEROUS: Whats for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Why are you so worked up?
SAFER: Could we be over-reacting?
SAFEST: Heres fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?!?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didnt overdo it today.
SAFEST: Ive always loved you in that robe.