Computer novices may feel like theyre alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBMs help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PCs serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, I see you have an Aptiva desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said shed be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe.

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as hibernate. Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5.25-inch diskettes, but she had only a 3.5-inch disk drive on her computer. The technician said she had two options: Get a second disk drive, or use 3.5-inch diskettes. The customer called back later, now complaining that her disk drive was making a terrible noise. And this despite the fact that she was using a 3.5-inch diskette, she said. After a bunch of questions, the technician determined the caller had used a pair of scissors to trim the 5.25-inch diskettes to fit the 3.5-inch drive.

A caller, perplexed that his new desktop computer–the one that was supposed to do everything short of bringing on world peace – was doing nothing, cried out for help. No problem, the IBM technician said. First, open a window to launch a specific program. The conversation continued, and the caller asked a few moments later if it might be all right to close the window. Why, the IBM technician asked. Because, the caller responded, it was getting very chilly.