Old and New Jokes

Humankinds propensity for imposing anthropomorphic characteristics on inanimate objects has now reached computers. But, which gender should your PC be?

Here are the top ten reasons why they have to be male.

They have a lot of data, but theyre still clueless.

A better model is just around the corner.

They look nice and shiny until you get them home.

Its always essential to have a backup.

Theyll do whatever you want if you push the right buttons.

The best part of having one is the games you can play.

In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

The lights are on but nobodys home.

Big power surges knock them out at night.

Size does matter.

But then again, here are the top ten reasons why they are obviously female.

Theyre oh so picky, picky, picky.

They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

Beauty is only shell deep.

When you ask them whats wrong, they always say nothing.

They can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.

They are always turning simple statements into big productions.

Small talk is important.

You do the same thing for years, and suddenly its wrong.

They make you take the garbage out.

Miss a period and they go wild.

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like chalk or pencil, she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, What gender is a computer?

The teacher wasnt certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.