Old and New Jokes

The Polish Medical Dictionary: Anti-Body – against everyone Artery – study of paintings Bandages – The Rolling Stones Bacteria – what to do when treatment fails Botulism – tendency to make mistakes Bowel – letters lik A E I O or U Caesarean Section – a district in Rome Cardiology – advanced study of poker playing Cat Scan – searching for ones lost kitty Cauterize – made eye contact with her Colic – sheep dog Coma – punctuation mark Congenital – friendly Cortisone – the local courthouse D & C – where Washington is Dilate – to live long Enema – not a friend Enteritis – a penchant for burglary ER – the things on your head that you hear with Fester – quicker Fibrillate – to tell lies Genes – blue denim slacks Genital – non-Jewish Hangnail – coat hook Hemorrhoid – a male From outer space Herpes – what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones – what a prostitute does when she doesnt get paid ICU – peek-a-boo Impotent – distinguished, well known Inpatient – tired of waiting Labor Pain – hurt at work Medical Staff – a doctors cane Minor Operation – coal digging Morbid – a higher bid Nitrate – cheaper than the Day Rate Node – was aware of Organ transplant – what you do to your piana when you move Organic – organ repairman Outpatient – a person who has fainted Paralyze – two far-fetched stories Pathological – a reasonable way to go Pharmacist – person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Plaster cast – the drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert Post-Operative – a letter carrier Protein – in favor of young people Recovery Room – place to upholster furniture Rectum – what happened to the Corvette Red blood count – Dracula Rheumatic – amorous Saline – where you go on your boyfriends boat Secretion – hiding something Surgery – a reason to get an uninterruptible power supply Sterile solution – not using the elevator during a fire Tablet – a small table Terminal Illness – getting sick at the airport Tibia – country in North Africa Triple bypass – better than a quarterback sneak Tumor – an extra pair Urine – opposite of Youre Out Varicose – nearby Vein – conceited