You know youre Castle Trash if……

Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet

Your daughters chastity belt has rusted

You cant afford a cod piece…………….nobody notices

You have more sheep dogs than sheep

You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to have…

The plague improved your complexion………..but only for a little while

The Pope sends you to the Crusades………..in Norway

Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum

Your wife is stronger than your plow horse…but the horse is prettier

The grail you brought home has made in China printed on the bottom

Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom

You won most improved at the tournament

They call your daughter made Marian

Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says peace before discomfort

Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son