Old and New Jokes

A 75-year old man went to his doctors office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctors office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, Well, doc, its like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing! Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with
both hands and her mouth too, but nothing.The doctor was shocked. You asked your NEIGHBOR?The old man replied, Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldnt get the damn jar open!