A prominent Columbia Maryland Yuppette had her teenage niece from New York visiting for the summer. She decided to sit down and have a talk with the girl explaining how things were done in Yuppie City.

Darling, she advised, you must be careful of certain men who offer you several drinks. Before you realize it, theyll push you down on a couch and … well … our family will be disgraced.

Less than a week later, the Aunt asked her how things were going.

Great! said the girl. A young stud did indeed try to ply me with liquor, but I made him drink them. Then, when he was bombed out of his mind, I pushed him down on couch and screwed his brains out. So it looks like our familys doing pretty damn good, huh?