Jewish bird
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A guy has a parrot that can sing and speak beautifully. He takes it to the synagogue on Rosh Hashonah and makes a fairly large wager that the bird can conduct the High Holiday service better than the temples cantor. When the big moment comes, though, the parrot is silent. The guy is outraged. He takes the bird home and is about to kill it when the bird finally speaks: Relax, you schmuck! Think of the odds well get on Yom Kippur!
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