A man walks into a bar with his turtle which is has two black eyes, 3 broken legs, a plater on his head and duct tape holding his shell together.

the bar man looks to him and says


what the hell is that thing

the man replies


this is the fasted turtle in the world

the barman


if it can make it across the length of my bar in 10 mins i will give you free drinks all evening

the man


its a deal

So everybody in the bar is waiting patiently for the man to put his turtle and on the floor and watch it go then the bar man says go, and without any hesitation the man throughs his turtle across the bar bouncing off the wall at the other side and falling to the floor.

The man replies


two shots of vodka please.