[Ed: There are lots of these around. These ones are probably a bit lesser

Eugene dAlbert (noted German composer) was married six times.
At an evening reception which he attended with his fifth wife shortly
after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said
politely, Congratulations, Herr dAlbert; you have rarely introduced me
to so charming a wife.

During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was invited to a
buffet luncheon at which cold fried chicken was served. Returning for a
second helping, he asked politely, May I have some breast?

Mr. Churchill, replied the hostess, in this country we ask
for white meat or dark meat. Churchill apologized profusely.

The following morning, the lady received a magnificent orchid
from her guest of honor. The accompanying card read: I would be most
obliged if you would pin this on your white meat.

Sentenced to two years hard labor (for Sodomy), Oscar Wilde
stood handcuffed in driving rain waiting for transport to prison. If
this is the way Queen Victoria treats her prisoners, he remarked, she
doesnt deserve to have any.

James McNeill Whistlers (painter of Whistlers Mother)
failure in his West Point chemistry examination once provoked him to
remark in later life, If silicon had been a gas, I should have been a
major general.

(German philosopher) Georg Wilhelm Hegel, on his deathbed,
complained, Only one man ever understood me. He fell silent for a
while and then added, And he didnt understand me.

Driving through a Swiss city one day, Alfred Hitchcock suddenly
pointed out of the car window and said, That is the most frightening
sight I have ever seen. His companion was surprised to see nothing
more alarming than a priest in conversation with a little boy, his hand
on the childs shoulder. Run, little boy, cried Hitchcock, leaning
out of the car. Run for your life!

Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the
Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives. A popular
story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was
roused by his wife crying, Wake up! I think there are burglars in the

No, no, my dear, said the president sleepily, in the Senate
maybe, but not in the House.

Will Rogers, having paid too much income tax one year, tried in
vain to claim a rebate. His numerous letters and queries remained
unanswered. Eventually the form for the next years return arrived. In
the section marked DEDUCTIONS, Rogers listed: Bad debt, US Government
— $40,000.

Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked
her what disguise she would recommend for him. She said, Why dont you
come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?

Phillip Garding

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