A feature of America On Line (AOL) is detailed member profiles. At the bottom of each profile is a space for a personal quote. Below are some that I thought were funny.

Ill never forget a face, but in your case Ill make an exception
– Groucho
Someone asked, How are you, I said, Not yet.
– Jack Bailey
If a tree falls in a forest with no one around.. does anyone care?
My way of joking is telling the truth. That is the funniest joke of all.
– G.B.Shaw
Never attribute to malice that which can be accounted for by stupidity.
I knew youd be checking this. Thats why its strategically vague.
I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in there Ill never know.
– G.Marx
Why are you checking my profile?
Are cataracts… genetic blueblockers?
The toilet is the only place where everyone knows what they are doing.
Nancy Kerrigan has more teeth in her mouth than Jeffery Dahmer had in his entire refrigerator!

… and my all time favorite AOL profile quote (so far) is …

A billion quadrillion tons of exploding hydrogen nuclei rose over the horizon and managed to look small, cold and slightly damp.

The quote credited to the late Jack Bailey of the tv show Queen For A Day is mine own profile quote and is para-phrasing a real life incident in my life.

The story behind it is as follows.

I was going to a charity dinner to hear Jack Bailey speak and rushed into the mens room to take a quick #1 before going in to be seated. You know how you look to see whos next to you at the urnal?

Well I looked up and over and saw it was Jack Bailey. I didnt know such a famous person and in an awkward way asked, Hi Jack, How are you?

He looked down at what he was doing and said, Not yet.