In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
Lovemaking
Screwing
The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
You should make love to a woman for the first time only after youve both shared:
Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
Your blood-test results
Five tequila slammers
You time your orgasm so that:
Your partner climaxes first
You both climax simultaneously
You dont miss SportsCenter
Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
Healthy, creative love-play
Not the sort of thing your wife would ever agree to
Not the sort of thing your wife need ever find out about
Spending the whole night cuddling a woman youve just had sex with is:
The best part of the experience
The second best part of the experience
$100 extra
Your girlfriend says shes gained five pounds in weight in the last month.
You tell her that it is:
No concern of yours
Not a problem – she can join your gym
A conservative estimate
You think todays sensitive, caring man is:
A myth
An oxymoron
A moron
Foreplay is to sex as:
Appetizer is to entree
Priming is to painting
A long line is to an amusement park ride
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the
end of a relationship?
I hope we can still be friends.
Im not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone…
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
Is uptight and a waste of time
Shouldnt have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
Results
If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
really are a man.
If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy, youre still
a little confused.
If you answered C more than 7 times, call me up – Hard men are good to
find!