(Darkness. Sunrise breaks across the edge of the
Warner Water Tower.)

Yakko: (v.o.) The Babbling-On Project was our last, best
hope for peace.

Wakko: Pizza!?

Yakko: Later. A water tower five miles long… well,
actually, fifty feet high, but arent these
perspective shots great?

(Incredibly fast camera motion down to the base of the Tower,
long, l-o-n-g perspective wide-angle, then hard fast zoom up
into Yakkos left nostril.)

Yakko: Hey, come on! Im trying to be dramatic here.

Dot: Let us know how it works out.

Yakko: It was the dawn of the Third Age of Toonkind… the
year the Turner War came upon us all.

(Stock footage of Betty Boop and Koko the Clown, cringing in
terror as they are painfully colorized.)

Yakko: The year is 1995. The name of the place… is
Babbling-On Forever.

Wakko: Shouldnt we save that name for the third movie?

Yakko: Only if we replace Bruce Boxleitner with Val Kilmer.

Dot: Hes so cu-u-ute!

All: (singing) Its time for Bab-y-lo-ni-acs!

Science Fiction to the max!

Wakko: Someone wrote this song before —

Yakko: Might as well do it once more —

All: Were Bab-y-lo-ni-acs!

Tonights episode: The Long Struggle with the Enquirer, or A Night
Falls In Brooklyn

(Captains office. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot sit around a table
playing a card game.)

Yakko: I bid two purple.

Wakko: Two green.

Dot: Two no scarf.

(Following shot of well-reverbed boots and a walking-stick.
The boots stop in the doorway of the Captains office.)

Voice: Ollo, mon.

(Captains office. All look up in surprise.)

Voice: Is dis de office of Capn Yakko Sheridan?

Yakko: It isnt the Satellite of Love. Whore you?

Voice: I will ask de questions ere.

(Starting at boots, pan up to see a Victorian Englishman…
with the head of a Disney shellfish.)

Sebastian: I am… Sebastian.

Yakko: That wacky Smith. Always riding the ragged edge of
Michael Eisners legal team.

Sebastian: De Vorlons ave sent me. I am… an Enquirer.

Wakko: I can see that. Youre not as garish as the Weekly
World News.

Sebastian: No! … I am ere to test your worthiness.

(Y, W & D as accountants going over their records.)

Yakko: Well, lets see. After the last renegotiation,
and taking into account audio-video royalties and
ancillary licensing…

Sebastian: NOO! I am here to ask: Who are you?

Dot: … Dorothy, the Small and Meek?

Sebastian: Insufficient answer.

Dot: Well, take it up with my birth certificate.

(She whips out her B.C., with an adorable photo at age .02 and
the words Name: Dorothy Warner; Size: Small; Temperament: Meek.)

Sebastian: (examining certificate) Saaay. Youre really
cute in dot one. (does a take) Hey! Dots not
what I meant!

Dot: But Dots what you said!

Yakko: Ohh, no, you dont. Were not gonna do any more
cheap accent jokes than we have to. As to who we
are… Captain Yakko Sheridan, at your service.

Wakko: Mister Wakkobaldi, on your tail. (He stands on
the tail of Sebastians suitcoat, flipping him
backwards onto his shellfishy butt.)

Sebastian: YeeOWCH!

Dot: (throws herself into his arms) And Im Commander
Ih-Dotti-va… in your dreams.

Sebastian: Shoo! Shoo! Get away!

Yakko: (clicks comlink) Dr. Franklinstiff, could you get
down here, please?

Doc: (v.o.) Zhuure, Kap-tin. Vhat do you haff forh me?

Yakko: I think an entree.

(Ralph the Guard appears in the doorway. He has a black
arm band.)

Ralph: Daaa… Capn, uhh, the, uh, Centauri ambassador,
Lobe-Oh Mole-Nearly, an his attach-ee, Veer Left,
are here to see ya.

Wakko: Fort Attach-ee: The Bronx?

Yakko: Close enough to Brooklyn for me. Send em in, Zack.

Ralph: Daaa… okay.

Dot: Zack, are you wearing that black arm band because
youre part of that creepy Night Watch program that
Earthdome has started?

Ralph: Ohh, no, Im wearin dis because of dey cancelled
My So-Called Life.

Dot: Given your so-called life, Im not surprised.

(In come Pinky and The Brain, both stunning in purple and
bad hair.)

Brain: Captain Sheridan, as ruler of the Centauri Empire —

Yakko: Wait a minute, Lobe-oh! When did that happen?
Last episode, you were just an ambassador!

Brain: I was able to leverage a buyout of the Centauri
throne through sales of my Country-Western single.

Wakko: But thats another story.

Pinky: Poit! Yes, the Ambassador is now the Official
Supreme Majestic All-Powerful I-Get-Cuts-In-Line
Head Honcho of Centauri Prime! ZORT!

Yakko: Could you repeat that?

Brain: Not without hurting himself.

Sebastian: Excuse me, but I am on official Vorlon
business ere.

Brain: (to Pinky, sotto voce) Vorlon business! Veer,
are you pondering what Im pondering?

Pinky: I think so, Brain, but… will Cheez Whiz even
stick to an Encounter Suit?

Brain: The Vorlons, Veer! They have their own agenda,
their own plans! No one really knows what they
want, or why!

Pinky: Maybe after its toasted, and starts melting into
those vent-acle thingies… NARF!

Brain: Pay attention, Veer! We shall capture this…
Enquirer, and in return for his release the
Vorlons shall tell us everything we need to know
to conquer the universe!

Wakko: Hey! I thought you just wanted to conquer the
world!

Brain: Think of it as inflation on a grander scale.

Yakko: Ohhh! Kinda like the Macys Parade, only dark
and evil and icky.

Dot: Why am I suddenly thinking Rush Limbaugh?

Pinky: Egad, Brain, its brilliant! Oh… no… wait.
How will we capture him?

Brain: Hes a soft-shell crab, Veer. Im confident in
our ability to overpower him.

(The tip of the walking-stick slams down between them,
zapping both of them with 100 zillion terrawatts.)

Brain: (charred) On the other hand, theres a lot to
be said for going down to Medlab and renewing
a long and cherished acquaintance with Bactine.

Pinky: (ditto) Naaaarf.

(Both plop to the floor.)

Sebastian: Now. Can we get on wit dis?

Wakko: (on Sebastians shoulders and in his face) How
come you didnt become Mighty Thor?

Sebastian: Look, mon, Im pretty peeved already! You
dont want to see me become mighty sore!

Wakko: No, no! Mighty Thor! Like this!

(Wakko grabs the walking-stick, strikes it against the
ground, and is instantly transformed into Thor.)

Wakko: (singing) — The God of Thunder, Mi-i-i-ighty
Tho-o-or!

Sebastian: Yi-i-i-i!!

Dot: Charter member of FOOM.

Sebastian: Fine! You win! You pass de Enquiry! You is
definitely de right people… (shakes Yakkos hand)
in de right place… (gets the heck out of there)
at de right time!

(He slams the WB logo door shut, then leaps down to
the ground.)

Sebastian: And dot is in dere, on Earth, and far,
far away from Babble-On Forever. (chuckles)
Dey can play all dey want, but its only a
water tower.

(Suddenly the ground rumbles. Smoke billows around
the base of the water tower, fins pop from the sides
of the tank section, the tower legs fall away like
gantries, and, with an impressive blast of flame,
the Warner Water Tower thunders into space.)

Sebastian: Ohh, mon. Were in for it now.

(Just outside Earth orbit, The Water Tower opens
a jumpgate and vanishes into it.)

(Inside the Tower. Y, W & D staring out a window.)

Dot: Why do we have a window in a spaceship?

Wakko: So we can roll it down, of course.

(He takes hold of the top edge of the window, rolls
it off the wall into a tube as if it was a Colorform,
and tucks it into his pocket.)

Wakko: So now what?

Dot: (offering to link arms with them) To ZHaDum?

(Y & W link arms with Dot)

Yakko: To ZHaDum.

(The Water Tower burns a vapor trail through space, and
the Warners follow, dancing along on the crushed ions.)

All: (singing) Were… off to kill the Shadows,

Cause everyone knows that theyre bad!

If youve lived long, you know this song

From the Musical Star Wars in MAD!

Yakko: Joe Michael Straczynski has got a plan —

Dot: Its really grand!

Wakko: Im his biggest fan!

All: And so far hes got two years in the ca-a-an —

With three more to go, can this wait we stand?

Yakko: … That didnt work, but it scanned.

All: Were off to kill the Shadows,

And watch some more Babylon Fi-i-ive!
(Fade.)