Old and New Jokes

Half the people in Baltimore dream of having their own house. The other half dream about breaking into them.
Amazing city Baltimore. Where else can ya bet on a horse race like the Preakness with your welfare check ?
Most of the natives in Baltimore arent very friendly. In fact, if it werent for muggings, thered be almost no personal contact.
Baltimore still has a Zoo where a lot of the animals are still behind bars. Of course, thats for their own safety & protection.
Theres a snazzy new restaurant in the Inner Harbor that specializes in seafood. The prices are so outrageous though, that when you find a pearl in your oyster, you just about break even.
Chivalry isnt dead yet though. A lady, her arms loaded with a lot of packages, boarded a bus and although no one offered her a seat, one fellow whispered to her, Be alert now, I get off at the stop after next.
In Baltimore, there are people from all walks of life – most run however.
Baltimore is one of the few towns I know of where you can park your car, walk a couple of blocks, and find it for sale.
But seriously, Baltimore is one great town where something happens every minute; unfortunately, most of it goes unsolved though.