Be Careful What You Teach Your Kids

A kid is walking around his house when he sees his dad watching a football game. The team his dad wants to win is losing, so out of anger, he yells, CMON YOU BASTARDS, JUST SCORE A TOUCHDOWN!!

The kid doesnt know what bastards are, so he says, Daddy, what does bastards mean?

His dad didnt want to admit to his son that he had cursed, so he said, Umm, it means, umm, uh, boys. Yeah, it means boys.

Then he walks into the room across the hall and sees his mom watching womens basketball. His moms team is losing, so she says, CMON YOU BITCHES, JUST SCORE A BASKET!!

The kid doesnt know what that means either, so he says, Mommy, what does bitches mean?

The mom says, Umm, it means, umm, uh, girls. Yeah, thats what it means, girls.

So the next day, the kids dad walks in from work and puts his coat on a coat rack. Because of his stupidity, the kids dad pokes his eye on the coat rack and yells, OH DICK!!

The kid comes up to his dad and says, Daddy, what does dick mean?

The dad says, It means, umm, uh, coat. Yeah, it means coat.

So then the kid walks into the kitchen where his mom is painting. She accidentally leans over her painting too far, and her hat falls off her head and gets smothered with paint. She yells, OH PUSSY!!

The kid says, Mommy, what does pussy mean?

The mom says, umm, it means, uhh, umm, hat. Yeah, thats what it means, hat.

So then, the kid walks upstairs to his parents room, where his dad is taking a shower. But his dad accidentally slips on a bar of soap and yells, OH SCREW!!

The kid walks up to him and says, Daddy, what does screw mean?

The dad says, Umm, uh, it means, uhh, cleaning. Yeah, cleaning.

So then he walks downstairs and sees his mom cutting turkey for dinner that night. She accidentally cuts herself and yells, OH FUCK!!

The kid says, Mommy, what does fuck mean?

His mom says, It means, umm, uh, cutting. Yeah, cutting.

So then some friends come over for dinner. The kid opens the door and says, Welcome bitches and bastards. May I take your dicks and pussys? If youd like to see my parents, my dad is upstairs screwing himself and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Most viewed Jokes (20)