From David Letterman and the Late Show…

Top Ten Signs Bill Clinton Doesnt Give A Damn

10. Called Russia asking if they need a new spy

9. When people whisper, Your fly is open, he says, Yeah, I know

8. Shoplifts at will, gives finger to security camera

7. If you asked what he had for breakfast and he actually had waffles, hell say pancakes just for the fun of lying

6. Hes no longer just fat — hes now Hugh Rodham fat

5. Tubby is selling a copy of the Declaration of Indepence on eBay

4. Doesnt even bother to buy high-quality cigars anymore

3. Recently introduced Playboy playmate as my lovely wife

2. Refers to Chappaqua mansion as the house that dirty pardon money built

1. Sits in the back of Al Gores journalism class screaming, Loser!