How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band? A: Because he had his own drumsticks!

An old woman saved a Fairys life. To repay this, the Fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes.

For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. Poof! She became young and beautiful.

For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. Poof! She was the richest woman in the world.

For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years. Poof! The Fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth.

The old lady and the Fairy said their goodbyes.

After the Fairy left, the handsome man (old cat) strolled over to her and asked, Now arent you sorry you had me neutered?!!!

How do you compliment a donkey? Hey, nice ass!

Have you heard my knock-knock joke? asked the blonde.
No, said the brunette.

Okay, said the blonde, you start.

OK, lets consider the physical evidence.

The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year.

Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earths surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs; the tallest ones, anyway.

What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf?

Decafinated

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?
The wrong answer.

Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, theyd break