Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?

A: You lickm, stickem, and sendem on their way.

Q: Why do blondes have legs?

A1: So they dont get stuck to the ground.

A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.

A3: So they dont leave trails, like little snails.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

Q: What do you say to a blonde that wont give in?

A: Have another beer.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.

A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.



Im afraid I dont have a husband, she replies.





O.K. do you have a boyfriend?, asks the Midwife.





No, no boyfriend either.





Do you have a partner then?





No, Im unattached, Ill be having the baby on my own.





After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.





You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black.





Well, replies the girl. I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black.





Oh, Im very sorry, says the midwife, thats really none of my business and Im sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair.





Well yes, the girl again replies, you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?





Oh, Im sorry, the midwife repeats, thats really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes.





Well yes, continues the girl, I was incredibly hard up and there was a Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice.





At this the midwife again apologizes collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give the baby a slap on the rear. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, Well thank God for that!





What do you mean?! says the midwife, shocked.





Well, says the girl extremely relieved, I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark.

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, youll have lost at least five pounds. When the blonde returns, shes lost nearly 20 pounds. Why, thats amazing! the doctor says. Did you follow my instructions? The blonde nods. Ill tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day. From hunger, you mean? said the doctor. No, from skipping, replied the blonde.

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown? Artificial intelligence.