The US Army is currently in the midst of a sexual harassment scandal. It started at a small base in Aberdeen, Maryland. These are some things you might either see in the news, or hear about:

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officers stunning, blonde staffers was transferred from Aberdeen Maryland to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment. The girl sighed and said, Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will be be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?

Then there was the newly promoted Army Captain who promptly had his female Quartermaster on the carpet because she forgot to include a sofa in his office.

Im telling you Jody, Ive never been happier said the one recruit to the other. I have two Drill Sergeants madly in love with me. One is just fabulous – handsome, sensititive, caring and considerate. What in the world would ya need the 2nd Sgt for? Jody asked. Oh, Carol replied, Well, Sgt. James is both straight AND single.

Tracy, a new recruit, was complaining about her recent date with a Drill Sergeant. He called me a slut she said, tears in her eyes. Thats terrible! What did you do? asked her fellow recruit. Well, I told him to get the hell outta the motel room, and … to take all his buddies with him.

The Army still doesnt understand how to conduct a decent scandal. They dont even have a cool/catchy name for the incident as yet. Hell, even the Navy, several years ago, had the good sense to use the double entendre Tailhook for theirs.

You have to give the Base Commander at Aberdeen credit though for responding quickly to charges of widespread fraternization between Officers and recruits by issuing a directive to all personnel that such conduct was strictly against all regulations. The memo was signed personally by the Commander, and co-signed by his aide, a Pvt. Lolita Bootsie DeCamp.

Q: Did you hear about the new automatic parachutes, invented by a blond?

A: They open on impact.

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations.

A blonde had two horses, but she couldnt tell them apart. So she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses.

This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses ear.

This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses.

And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse!

Q: Whats a brunettes mating call?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?

A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?

A3: All the blondes have gone home!

Two blonde builders were working on a house. One blonde was on a ladder nailing. Shed reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.



The other blonde couldnt stand it any longer and yelled up, Why are you throwing some of the nails away?



The first blonde explained, When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if its pointed toward me I throw it away. If its pointed toward the house, then I can use it!



The second blonde explained, Dont throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! Theyre for the other side of the house!!

What do you call 3 blondes under a Christmas tree?

Ho-Ho-Ho!

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.A red head said, O.K., whats the capital of Wyoming? The blonde replied, Oh, thats easy, W.

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.