Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?

A: So she wouldnt get Hearing Aids.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?

Another blonde, another store. . .

She goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk:

I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.

Does he use the ball kind? inquired the clerk.

No, replied the blonde, The kind for under his arms.

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee

Why do men prefer blondes?

Men always like intellectual company.

Seven Degrees Of Blonde
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Thewife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, How should I know, thats 200 miles from here! and hung up. The husband said, Who was that?

The wife said, I dont know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.

TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, Hmm, this person looks familiar. the second blonde says, Here, let me see! So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, You dummy, its me!

THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, No, honey, dont do it.
The blonde replies, Shut up, youre next!

FOUR
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. A friend says, OK, whats the capital of Wisconsin?
The blonde replies, Oh, thats easy: W.

FIVE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? Is it mine?

SIX

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. My God! the trooper gasped. Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK maam?
Yes, officer, Im just fine the blonde chirped.
Well, how in the world did this happen? the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
Officer, it was the strangest thing! the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was….
Uh, maam, the officer said, cutting her off, There isnt a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.

SEVEN
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K_9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K_9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, Im going to try to swim to shore. So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, I wonder if she made it. I guess its better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve. So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, I wonder if they made it! I think Id better try to make it, too. So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, Im too tired to go on! So she swam back.

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.

The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.

The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the barender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.

The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser.

The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, You dont want the usual?

She looks at him for a minute and shakes her head. No. Coors makes my pussy sore!

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly,

the blondes friend said, Oh, look, a dead birdie. The blonde looked up

and said, Where?