Why dont blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they cant fit eight cups of water in the little packet.

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her. The man in the car says to her, What do you have in the bag? The blonde replies: I have chickens! The man thinks for a moment and says, If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one? The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, Okay, but Ill make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

Hey, this is a nude beach. I aint getting in that cold water! — Shrinkaphobia

Get that *^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!! — Carmenelectraphobia

Hes coming straight for us – with his left turn signal on! — Oldfartophobia

You have to push Start to turn the damn computer off?! — Windophobia

I wont go to your frat house to eat gyros and watch a tape of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra on your old Sony VCR! — ThetaFetaMetaBetaphobia

No!! Dont call the plumber!!! — Buttcrackaphobia

No, I dont want to watch Friends. That blonde chick freaks me out. — Phoebephobia

Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove? — Probeophobia

Youre busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then? — Rentanotherpornophobia

Its NOT my imagination! Senator Helms is looking at me that way again! — Homophobophobia

Honey, I bought a Corvette! — Smallpenisphobia

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, What is that? The store clerk responds, Its a thermos. The blond then asks, What does it do? The clerk says It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she buys one. The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, What is that shiny object? She replies Its a thermos. He asks, What does it do? She says, It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. He then asks, What do you have in there? Two cups of coffee and a scoop of ice cream.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?

A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops – especially cops with their lights on. After theyve been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if shes seen any cops."Yes," says the blonde."Are their lights on?" The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A: An air bag.

She was so blonde…

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Two blondes were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, Why are you throwing those nails away?

The first blonde explained, If I pull a nail out of my pouch and its pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away cause its defective. If its pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you arent defective! Theyre for the OTHER side of the house!!!