A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door? Why sure, said the manager, we have something that works especially well for that. A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. No, no! A little to the left, said the other blonde inside the car.

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

A blond bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horses tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested that the blond notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldnt tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested that the blond measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?A: To draw blood.

A blond and a brunette are on an elevator, suddenly a good looking

handsome man gets on.

So then the brunette turns to the blond and says, Wow, he is so

good looking, but that dandruff on him is a real turn off.

I think we should give him some Head and Shoulders! said the

brunette.

All of a sudden the blond turned to the brunette with a confused

look and said, Ok, but how do you give shoulders?

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?

A: When she has a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her pencil.

Three blondes were walking through the woods when they came upon a

set of tracks.

Looks like deer tracks, said one blonde.

No, it looks like maybe a cow track, another blonde suggested.

Actually, I think they are just dog tracks, the third blonde

offered.

They were still arguing when the train hit them!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned about his employees well being, asks sympathetically, Whats the matter?

The blonde replies, Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.

Im terribly sorry to hear that. Why dont you go home for the day… we arent terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.

The blonde very calmly explains, No, Id be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. If you need anything, just let me know, he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?

No, replies the blonde, I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!