There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful blonde teenage daughters. The parents decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

After months of trying, the wife became pregnant, and sure enough, nine months later she delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered.

Then he gave her a stern look and asked, Have you been fooling around on me?!

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, Not this time.

A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?

A: Nice tits!

The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be only half paying attention to his replies.

Are you feeling OK? he asked.

Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet. she admitted. Is there a name for my condition?

Why yes, there is. he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. Its called Good News.

Halloween Funnies:

What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.

What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common? Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.

Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank? He was caught drinking on the job.

Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating? Women can see right through them.

Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in

2000.

What kind of clothes do Zombies wear? Decay NY.

Why arent there any famous skeletons? Theyre a bunch of no bodies.

What kind of music do Mummies listen to? Wrap.

What do you call a guy turned on by a witch? Scared stiff.

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, What is that?

The store clerk responds, Its a thermos.

The blond then asks, What does it do?

The clerk says It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, What is that shiny object?

She replies Its a thermos.

He asks, What does it do?

She says, It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

He then asks, What do you have in there?

Two cups of coffee and an ice cream.

A group of blondes walks into a bar, all excited and giggling. They order a round of drinks.

One of the blondes raises her glass and shouts excitedly, 51!! 51!! The other blondes echo. After they have finished their drinks, another round is ordered. Again, the blondes toast 51. This happens a few times.

Finally, the bartender speaks up. Excuse me, He says, But why do you ladies keep doing that? Well, Says one of the blondes, very bubbly, We got a puzzle, right? And it said 2-4 years on the box. We finished it in 51 days!!!!!

ok there was a blonde,red head, and a brunette.Then one day the red head went out and she caught a deer so they asked her how she got that deer and she said me find tracks me follow tracks me find deer.Next the brunette went out and she caught a rabbit so they asked he rhow she got that rabbit and she said me find tracks me follow tracks me find rabbit.after that the Blonde went out and she came back with a whole bunch of bruses so they asked her how she got all those brueses and she said me find tracks me follow tracks me get hit by train.

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctors office and says
that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Impossible! says the doctor. Show me. The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and
screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and
screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, Youre not really a redhead, are you? Well, no she says, Im actually a blonde. I thought so, the doctor says. Your finger is broken

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?

A: So they know when to stop having sex!