One night a Blond Nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.

My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways.

There must be something you would have of me, said God.
Well, there is one thing, she said.
Just name it, said God.
Its those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.

Consider it done, said God. Blond jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans.

But surely there is something that I could do just for you.

There is one thing. But its really small, and not worth your time, said the nun.

Name it. Please, said God.

Its the M&Ms, said the nun. Theyre so hard to peel!

Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husbands car? She burned her lips on the tailpipe!

Did you hear about the blonde that stared at an orange juice can for

20 minutes because it said concentrate?

A: She thought it was diet coke.

A blonde was driving to the airport and she saw a sign that said Airport left so she turned around and went home.

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?

A: Artificial Intelligence!

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

It got stuck in a bear trap, chewed off thee legs and was still stuck.

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.The brunette suggested, There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but its not going to be legal.That doesnt matter at all, replied the blonde. All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.Alright, replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldnt be a problem to sell your car.The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunettes advice.About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, Did you sell your car?No! replied the blonde. Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, Would you like me to be your friend?

The girl hesitated, then said, Okay, looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, Why are you standing here all alone?

Because, the little girl said with great exasperation, Im the goalie!